Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
