I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
