the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
