the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
