stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize