I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
