that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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