Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
