is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
