I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
