all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize