Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
