Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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