Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
