trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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