K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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