I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
