In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
