Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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