I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
