I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
