Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize