I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My life is pants optional.
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