I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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