Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
