He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
