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I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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