I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We got so high we made milksteak
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
