I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
