I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just invented taco cereal.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
