all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
