Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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