I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
