We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
