Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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