It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
