I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
