Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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