My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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