so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
