No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
