Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
When are your genitals available?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
