But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
