he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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