i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
