Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Found the puke drawer
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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