his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
