Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
