my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
