You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize