I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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