Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
