Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you had me at cake vodka
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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