Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
