so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize