You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
